BT and the Art of Communication

I don't shout very often.

But today I shouted at the top of my voice at a woman I've never met (in fact we live on different continents). 
The poor woman was unfortunate enough to join in at the end of a 4 month long dispute between me and BT, and to utter words that I'm sure were part of a BT-approved-list-of-helpful-responses, but which tipped me over the edge: 'I suggest that you make an immediate payment, Mr Hoof'...

It all began in August - the 29th August to be precise - two days after we had moved from Woodmansterne to Redhill. 
Here are some of the highlights...

I had hoped that it would be a simple matter to move my account from one Vicarage to another, but (for obvious reasons) to use the number that my predecessor had. Wrong. The Vicarage in Redhill had been disconnected a year ago, so a new number would have to be 
allocated. Not only that, but moving within the same 01737 prefix and NOT wanting my old number to come with me (for obvious reasons) proved beyond the comprehension of BT. 

I arranged for a new line to come into the Vicarage, and to my disappointment was given an installation date of 18th September. I accepted that, and dreamed of almost 3 weeks without the phone ringing. Nothing was confirmed in writing, and so I phoned BT in 2nd week of September to check that all was set for the installation of landline and broadband on the promised date. Solid assurance was sought, but my request to see it in writing were met with 'I can't do that, Sir, but I can promise you that it is here on the screen in front of me'. Nothing can go wrong now... Wrong. On 15th September I received a text to assure me that my service would be installed on 1st October. I phoned (from a borrowed line) and pressed my case for an earlier installation, but was told that BT Openreach ('A separate company, Mr Hock') had fixed this date and it couldn't be done any earlier. OK...(just about)...but could I have this date confirmed in writing, even an email...? No. So I cancelled the order with BT. It took a long phone call to unravel the order, and was passed from department to department, and continent to continent before they assured me, verbally, that the order was cancelled.

I phoned Sky, and placed an order. Very easy, very friendly. They couldn't install until 7th October, but the satisfaction of not doing business with BT was worth the delay...Wrong. BT Openreach still have to install the line.

The BT Openreach van arrived in Oct and installed a landline and broadband - hurrah! I used the services for a week before another BT Openreach van arrived to install another landline and broadband. The previous installation was for the original, cancelled order (keep up), and the BT Openreach employee had now arrived to install on behalf of Sky...and he did.

Then it got complicated. 

I tried to explain to BT and Sky what was going on, and neither of them seemed to understand. I spent endless hours (I walked into Redhill, bought some sandwiches and walked home during the course of one mobile phone conversation) trying to resolve the situation. One BT employee told me it was the most complicated case she'd ever come across. Eventually I was told that BT accepted their mistake, and that there would be no charge to me for the installation and line. Could I have that in writing..? 'No need, Mr Hoo, it's all here on the screen, and this call has been recorded'.

Then the bills started to arrive. BT bills for the cost of the installation, and for the privilege of having a BT line I had not wanted. Negotiations ensued, and I agreed to pay about £45 to bring the whole thing to an end. Phew! Wrong.

Another BT bill arrived. £334.60 due because I had terminated my contract so soon after installation. I ignored it, partly because I was busy with a new job, and partly in the hope that somewhere deep in the bowels of BT (an unpleasant thought) one department's computer would speak to another, and the whole sordid business would be sorted out. Wrong.  Another, more urgently worded, bill arrived. I had to deal with that, and held my temper (it being the week before we were due to celebrate the arrival of the Prince of Peace...) as I explained the whole story again to yet another BT employee and told them that I was refusing to pay. 
That meant that my case was to be 'escalated' - i.e. someone would have to listen to all the recordings of our phone conversations (Happy Christmas to that luckless BT employee!), to discover if my version of events was correct. Could I have this in writing...? Of course not, I would receive a phone call within the next 5 working days informing me of the outcome of the escalation. Wrong.

Today a 'final warning' came from BT's Debt Recovery Unit, threatening all sorts of repercussions if I didn't make an immediate payment. That's when I phoned, and shouted when told the best way forward was for me to pay £334.60. Sorry, Asmita.

She understood my frustration (as have two previous BT employees, who told me they would be as mad as I was if they were in my shoes...), apologised for getting my name wrong, before doing it again, and then putting me on hold. 

And finally... Asmita assures me that the screen tells her that my account has been cleared and there is nothing outstanding. All debts cancelled. Could I have that in writing, please...? 'No, Mr Hoof, I don't have authority to write to you, but if you receive any more letters from the Debt Recovery Unit, please give us a ring'.